Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
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I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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