Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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