I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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