Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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