guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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