Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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