My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
