Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
