GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
