Are we in a gay sports bar?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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