Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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