big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
