Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
How does one acquire holy water?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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