I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
