what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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