Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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