I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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