I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dicks are not precious.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
