I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
