woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
