Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize