We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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