You can't motorboat a personality
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
