How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
