I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
