Don't you send me to vm
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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