I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.