I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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