OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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