guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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