my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize