You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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