Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
