went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
