I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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