I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
