i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
