ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she told me i tasted like america
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
