just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just pee around me
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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