I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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