I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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