You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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