the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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