just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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