Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My pussy is not your playground.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
