??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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