i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
