You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
