Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
did i just pee glitter
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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