I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
