Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
