You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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