I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
