can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
