That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
