i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
