we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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