Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
