Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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