There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize