He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
