dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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