i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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