There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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