just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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